


Eghumin and Airlocks

by AlltheB7



Series: B/7 Single shots [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Queer Women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27887428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlltheB7/pseuds/AlltheB7
Summary: Seven's requests always get the better of B'Elanna.
Relationships: Seven of Nine/B'Elanna Torres
Series: B/7 Single shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041984
Kudos: 13
Collections: Women of Star Trek





	Eghumin and Airlocks

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue-only exercise I played with on one of those late nights

"Lieutenant."

" Seven."

"I know we do not usually see eye-to-eye, however, our disagreements are not something I consider distasteful."

"Am I supposed to be glad you have deigned to —"

"Excuse me, Lieutenant, I would like to finish."

"I've never been able to stop you before."

"Indeed. As I was saying, I wanted to express that your... Passion for your job, your desire to do well, and in your endeavors succeed, you are someone I admire. Some on Voyager consider your temper negative, however, I do not wish for you to think you are not acceptable the way you are."

"...Okay."

"Here are schematics to improve the warp core efficiency."

"You know what, borg? You had me going there for a minute. You are getting better at being human. Good job. Now get off my floor."

"I was unaware you possessed the floor. I will see you later, Lieutenant."

"I thought you were going to punch her, Lieutenant."

"I wouldn't punch Seven of Nine. She's a member of Voyager and valuable asset. But you know, Carey, I might try a choke hold. Until then, let's keep our fantasies to ourselves, I need you to finish the diagnostic for the warp core."

* * *

"Lieutenant—"

"Seven. "

"Have you ..."

"Do I look like the kind of person who would help you?"

"Looks are irrelevant."

"Whatever. I have things to do. Get out of my way."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, sure."

"Lieutenant. Did you—"

"You like your nose, right, Carey?"

"Yes, ma'am. Here's the report you requested."

"Thank you for being a smart man. Good work."

* * *

"Whew. Rough shift."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Good thing you finished those changes on the warp core. I don't know how we would have managed if it had crapped out on us after that third blast."

"I'm sure you would have pulled through, flyboy."

"I don't know. Mm, you know, if I hadn't lost my rations."

"Leola root getting to you?"

"Hah. That too."

"Thought you'd win that bet, huh?"

"I honestly thought I'd never see the day you'd implement one of Seven's recommendations."

"I mean, which would you prefer: Borg assimilation or Leola root stew?"

"Not all of us have redundant systems."

"Aw, stop pouting at your fork. We're alive. Alright, I've got to go over the damage reports and start working on coordinating repairs. See ya."

"See ya, Lanna."

* * *

"What is this?"

"It is customary to provide a gift to show gratitude to another person. These are rations that I would like to share with you. A gift in exchange for your consideration and cooperation."

"You want to monetize my services?"

"No, Lieutenant, I do not."

"Then take these rations and shove them up your—"

*Ensign Kim to Lieutenant Torres*

* * *

"Doctor, I attempted to show gratitude for B'Elanna's assistance, but she found the gift insulting. She said I was trying to 'monetize' her services."

"Oh, dear. What did you give her?"

"Rations."

"Hmm. B'Elanna is a proud person, it may have seemed that you were trying to buy her help. B'Elanna prides herself on her integrity. I can see how taking money, or rations in this case, as compensation for helping you most likely insulted the lieutenant."

"Clarify."

"In the past, people have bribed others to do things that would normally not be in their own interest. It happened, and still happens, frequently. If you gave her rations for enacting changes you like, what would happen if you offered B'Elanna something to enact changes that were not good for Voyager and your collective?"

"I would not offer anything that would endanger the collective.

"Ah, the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"What road?"

"It is a saying, Seven."

"I see. Thank you, Doctor."

"Before you go, may I offer some advice?"

"Certainly."

"Without encroaching upon her privacy, find something that B'Elanna would enjoy. Give her something that is meaningful to her. Think of it this way: she chose to consider your plans because she found merit in them. She enacted the changes because she saw that they could work and that it would work, not because she wants something from you. Don't necessarily give her something that shows you see the merit in her. Show her."

"Noted. Thank you again, Doctor."

* * *

"I swear, the chief is the only person I know who wants to rip your head off when she's been insulted and when she's been given a gift."

"Haha, right? So what was the gift?"

"Bananas."

"Bananas? The chief almost took your head off because someone gave her bananas?"

"Hey, just another day at the warp core."

"So who left them?"

"My guess? Seven of Nine."

"Hah! Wait, seriously? Does the chief know?"

* * *

"B'Elanna, check this out."

"This is just Tom's bookie padd from his last bet. This isn't anything."

"Did you read it, B'Elanna?"

"No, Harry, I don't need to read it, I—"Try skimming who placed winning bets."

"...You have got to be kidding. Seven bet against me? Why that— that's why she tried giving me those rations."

"Speak of the—"

" Hello, lieutenant."

"Well, I'm glad that you were so kind to offer me the rations from betting on me. Maybe you can find a pattern to replicate some decency."

"B'Elanna—"

"My apo—"

"Don't talk to me, Borg. Harry, I'll see you later, I've suddenly lost my appetite."

"Well... everyone still has all of their limbs?"

* * *

"Lieutenant—"

"Save your breath."

"I am unfam—"

"Get off my floor."

"I would like to apologize, Lieutenant."

"And I would like to stop repeating myself: get out of engineering."

* * *

"Seven is really sorry, B'Elanna, I think you should hear her out."

"Shut up, Tom."

"Look, you didn't even think to be mad at me for running the bets, but you're mad at Seven for winning them? Come on. What's really grinding your gears?”

"I know you, Tom. I know what you're capable of. But Seven? Who in Grethor does she think is? I take her idea and listen one time and what does it get me? I become the butt of a joke! I'm furious! This is what I get for being open? I try one thing one time to see how they would go and it feels like it was just a game for the Borg to win!"

"How are you a joke at all? You know I've got your back."

"Cut the crap, flyboy."

*Level 10*

"Oh look, it's Seven on your floor, Tom. Why don't you two get together and come up with another way to humiliate me?"

"I am headed to Cargo Bay 2, Lieutenant."

"B'Elanna—"

"Go back to your quarters, Tom."

"Fine. Do what you do best, then. Go be alone and lick your wounds. You should take another turbolift, Seven, this one stinks."

* * *

"Lieutenant. I don't care what happened on level 10. You will repair the turbo lift and you will do so with Seven of Nine."

"With all d—"

"That's an order."

"Yes, captain."

* * *

"Here is the —"

"Thank you."

"If you want to make this process more difficult, you are succeeding, Lieutenant."

"Do you want to know what would be difficult?"

"Besides repairing the damage to your pride and sense of decency, Lieutenant?"

"Throwing you out of an airlock. That would be difficult. I can fix this turbolift without you."

"Indeed, I would agree with both of those statements."

"Hah. Then we agree that you can shove off."

"That, I cannot do."

"But you can bet against me."

"I bet that you would see reason."

"Right. And then make a fool of me."

"We would not be here arguing if you had not improved on my design."

"Oh, now there are compliments. What's next? A bet on when we start dating? Should I —hand me the interlink sequencer—anticipate a bet as to who...how would you put it?—Right, should I bet on who initiates coitus first? Shall I call Tom up?"

"I would bet that you would not go on a date with me, Lieutenant. Therefore, intercourse is improbable and not a logical step in your rationale."

"What? So now you're too good for me? Is that what you're saying? —hold this here—Am I, what, not compatible with you, Seven?"

"We are all equal, but compatibility is not the issue."

"Seal the hatch up, here. Good."

"You're welcome."

"There, all done. Good as old."

"That is not the saying—"

"Here, stand right here and let me know if the turbolift doors close properly."

* * *

"You left me on level 10."

"That I did. It felt good."

"Go on a date with me."

"What? You can't be serious."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a no, Seven."

"Good. Thank you."

"Wait—what is this about?"

"Holodeck hours. Five, to be precise."

"You win five holodeck hours because I say no?"

"Correct."

* * *

"I want a spa treatment."

"Then I would recommend program Omicron 7 in the Risa collection."

"No. I want you to give me a two-and-a-half hour spa treatment with the hours you won from Tom."

"Don't be a squelcher, Seven."

"Yeah, listen to Tom, Seven. After all, without me, you wouldn't have gotten any holodeck time, correct?"

"Very well."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're interrupting my day off."

"If I am to share my holodeck time with you, I should use utilize it to try new things."

"Put your clothes back on!"

"Computer, add another bath and assistant."

*bath and assistant added*

"Computer! Remove second bath and assistant!"

*cannot comply, command level not authorized*

"You know what? Fine. Just stay out of my way."

"Computer, please add a bowl of fruit consisting of: grapes, cherries, peaches, and bananas. Place it on the table provided."

*Action completed*

"Computer, please play soothing sounds."

*Affirmative*

"Computer, please stop music."

*cannot comply, command level not authorized*

"Computer, activate subprogram O7-3 in bath one."

"Whoa-AHHH! What the hell? What is that!"

"Common spa treatments on Risa include the eghumin, small fish-like creatures, to enhance—"

"That's it! I'm done!"

* * *

"So...you threw Seven into the bath with the eghumin, and that's how you ended up in the brig?"

"No. Getting Seven into the bath proved...difficult., but that—"

"Wait—wait—you went on a spa date with Seven?"

"No, I—"

"Ohhh, was this like, a sexy time date?"

"Tom, I swear if you don't stop interrupting me I will be adding a third charge to keep me in the brig for another month."

"Okay, okay, don't blow a gasket."

"So I did get her into the bath with the eghumin, but then she activated a tikka cat, so I activated a sehlat."

"And then what?"

"And then I grabbed my clothes and ran."

"I call bologna. Someone activated an airlock."

"I almost threw that borg onto her ass, but she has these—lanky arms—and just—wrapped around me like a Filian serpent and—"

"Wait—did you get dressed?....Were you naked?"

"Tom, I swear if you tell anyone—"

"Was Seven naked, too?"

"You know what? Yes, yes we were both naked and wrestling at the airlock."

"Is that when Janeway arrived?"

"No."

"But how did you get from the holodeck to the airlock?"

"Emergency transfer."

"You used an emergency site-to-site transfer to throw Seven out of an airlock? Okay, okay... so you threw Seven in with the eghumin, you used a site-to-site transfer, you tried to throw her out of the airlock, and then what?"

"And I am done talking about it."

"What? Come on!"

"Visitors' hours are up, Mister Paris."

"Aye, Captain. I'll—uh—I'll see you, Lanna."

* * *

"Come to gloat?"

"Negative, Lieutenant."

"I'm no longer a lieutenant."

"Indeed. I have come to inquire if you would like to go on a date with me."

"You still owe me two hours of holodeck time from when you almost killed me."

"I could take you on a date using those two hours."

"Or I could experience not being thrown in the brig."

"Or you could experience a massage and home cooked meal."

"Or I could get up right now and walk away."

"You have not answered, B'Elanna Torres."

"Because I am not interested in earning you any more holodeck time, Seven of Nine. Level nine."

"But you kissed me when—"

"I was clearly experiencing a mental break."

"And you seemed interested last week when you—"

"Clearly my disorder is chronic."

"Shall I hail the Doctor?"

"Doors, open. No, I'd like you to get your lanky ass in here already."


End file.
